Crazy Jack Juliet
by snowyclara
Summary: Jack Juliet is what they call her,though she isn't sure why her real name is after a nickname,guess it sounds better. "Jack",cause they say she's the jack of all trades. Though she's in the military,she'd much rather break the rules. So now she's a Loser.
1. Chapter 1

Juliet "Jack" Williamson was irked; the only reason she was in this situation was because some stupid fucker had to go take a piss and just happened to see the end of her ponytail.

She had been doing shit like this for years and she gets caught because of something as stupid as her hair? Jesus fuckin' Christ.

_I need to hack this shit off when I get home. And start using the stupid ass vents when making a getaway in broad daylight._

She rolled her eyes, for fuck's sake, being reduced to using the vents in broad daylight? Shit…

Two big-ass dudes opened her cell door and yanked her to her feet.

"Come on," one of the guys growled.

They began to walk her out, but she jerked her arms out of their grip.

"I can walk, thank you," she snarled, glaring at the two.

They glared right back, but didn't attempt to lead her again.

As they walked, the one on her right kept moving closer. And closer. Until-

"Keep your hands to yourself," she said pleasantly, but the threat underneath was all too clear.

"And I should listen to you why girlie? You're handcuffed and in my custody," he said, the arrogant smirk on his face made her want to rip his throat out with her bare hands.

"Doesn't mean you can put your hands on my-"

"Is there a problem here?" someone asked, she and the two guards turned towards them.

It was a man, with a half- grown beard. There were three other men behind him, but she wasn't too concerned with them at the moment.

"No," the guard with the wandering hands answered.

"We were just taking this thief to the-"

"Thief?" the man asked, an eyebrow rose unbelievably high as he gave her a once over, but not in the perverted way, in the analyzing-is-this-guy-telling-the-truth way.

She had to admit that she didn't look like a thief at first, but under a more scrutinizing eye, it was all too clear. She was slim, but not anorexically so; her long hair-_need_ _to cut this shit off_- and her apparel also adding to his incredulity. While she knew that it was hard to believe she was a thief, and technically she was, but also technically she wasn't, she felt the need to defend herself in the oddest way possible. By obviously saying that she was in fact a thief without saying it outright.

"I am not a thief! I am a Corporal who got so F-ing bored, decided to break into the "top-secret" parts of the Pentagon and would have gotten away with had this fat ass not needed to go take a fucking piss! I am also the Corporal who is about to kick this guard's ass for not keeping his hands to himself!"

"You couldn't if you tried," he smirked.

His answer was a kick to the balls and a bloody nose.

The other guard tried to grab her, but she had bolted, the four guys just watched as she ran like a bat out of hell.

They watched as she outran the second guard by a long shot and somehow slipped her way out of the cuffs on her.

Needless to say, Colonel Clay wanted that girl on The Losers.

~X~x~X~

So… yeah. Do you all understand the rating now? Tons of F-bombs and such… haven't dropped the B-bomb for some reason… well it's my goal in this story to use the most common curse words at least… 20 times each. xD

Well… not entirely sure where this profane story is going, but I like this girl! She can seriously kick some fuckin' ass!

Dear Lord, my mom would skin me alive if she saw all the profanities in this story. X.x


	2. Chapter 2

"Corporal Juliet, age 36, hair color, height, weight, blah, blah, blah… Jesus, where's the good stuff on this girl?" Corporal Jake Jensen whined, earning eyerolls from the rest of the men gathered in the room.

"Hey, Jensen, what'd you say her last name was?" Sergeant Linwood 'Pooch' Porteus asked; fixing what seemed to be a lamp with duct tape.

"I didn't."

"And why not?"

"Because it's not exactly important if she's going to be on the team, which isn't going to happen if her files don't stop being a bitch!" the bespectacled blond yelled, glaring at the laptop screen.

"Jensen, you can hack into the most encoded, encrypted, high-security computer and you can't even get some girl's files? What kind of bull-shit is that? And you won't even tell me the girl's last name!"

"Shut up Pooch," Jensen grumbled.

"Good God, why is this taking so long? We should have been done 15 minutes ago," Captain William Roque growled, his patience wearing thin.

"I agree, what's the hold up soldier?" Colonel Franklin Clay asked, giving a disproving glare at Roque.

"It's just that these files are- oh. Erm… sorry, I didn't um… yeah, stupid mistake, I'll just, yeah," Jensen laughed, embarrassed, he just realized that he hadn't opened his hacking program.

In the corner, Sergeant Carlos 'Cougar' Alvarez smirked at the blond.

"Shut it Cougar," he muttered, red creeping up his face.

"Got it! Corporal Juliet Williamson specializes in… Jesus, is there anything this chick can't do?"

"What's that mean?" Pooch asked, looking up from the lamp which was almost completely covered in tape.

"It means that this chick can snipe, hack, pilot, you name it, she can do it. This girl is the jack of all trades, pretty much," he explained to the room.

"What's her record?"

"Only thing on it is disobedience; not following orders, says here that she even slugged her commanding officer once," Jensen reported, laughing.

"Hey, the guy tried to feel me up, what was I supposed to do?"

The five quickly turned to the door, to see the one and only Juliet Smith standing in their doorway.

"So does that mean that guard was your superior?" Pooch asked.

"No, that was just some random asshat who caught me in a bad mood, speaking of which, do any of you have scissors or a knife I could borrow?" the Losers all looked at Roque who rolled his eyes, pulled a wicked knife out of seemingly nowhere and tossed it at her.

The Losers watched the knife carefully, and were a little surprised at how easily she caught it.

"Excuse me for a moment," and then she turned around and walked out of the small house.

A few minutes later, she walked in, but with hair that came just over her shoulders.

"Did you just-"

"Yeah, and the reason why is because my hair is why I got caught by the guards, a total bullshit reason. It was in a fuckin' pony tail for crying out loud!" she huffed, tossing Roque his knife, which he did a quick examination of.

"What exactly do you specialize in? There's Jensen, our tech. Pooch, our transport. Cougar, our sniper. And Roque, our tactical," Clay said, gesturing to each in turn; Jensen smiled and waved brightly, Pooch smiled, Cougar nodded, and Roque simply gave her a look.

"And that would make you-"

"Colonel Clay. The runner of things. Now, what do you specialize in?"

"Infiltration. But I can do everything else. I'm not better than you guys at what you do, but I'm not too far behind."

"Like I said, you're the jack of all trades," Jensen interjected.

Juliet shrugged.

"I guess you could say that."

"HAHA! YES! I have a nickname for you already! Jack Juliet!" he cried triumphantly. The others looked at him as if he were crazy, Juliet just raised an eyebrow.

"Don't jump the gun, I haven't even been kicked off my last team yet," Juliet told him, a bit annoyed and a bit… surprised? Flattered? What word describes the feeling that you just… belong, and you barely know them and they barely know you, and already you have a nick name? What do you call that?

Her inner monologue was cut off by Clay growling at Jensen.

"She isn't off her last team? I told you-"

"I know, I know, calm down, I was too busy trying to access her files, I'm working on it right… now. And… done. Well, Jack, welcome to the Losers," Jensen grinned.

~X~x~X~

And there's the second one! Not as much profanity… but you know what? There's more chapters to come and in those chapters? Violence, profanity, large amounts of alcohol, a whole lot of bullets, profanity, more violence, inappropriate things, and did I say profanity? So… yeah. This story in a nutshell. xD


End file.
